CHAPTER SEVEN

Without her really realizing it a three months had passed since she stared doing the show. By this point 200,000 people had subscribed to the show on podcasting networks, and early ratings show her being one of the most popular shows in her time slot, right behind overnight news correspondence from Europe. She had put in to quit her job at the factory as soon as she signed with Foxx, they fired her on the spot instead. Adjusting to a full night schedule was hard, but worth it. She still managed to go to the shop before it closed and talk with her friends online when she woke up. One lazy morning she was woken up not by her 3pm alarm clock, but by her father.

"Paula, open up, we need to talk."

"Let me sleep a little more, ok? I'm drained."

He comes in anyway and Poppy is very glad she wore pajamas. It's just getting cool enough outside so that her upstairs room isn't boiling hot at night.

"You've stayed out late every night for the last 3 days, you never talk to us and you don't get up in time for work. What happened to the factory, huh? What happened to you trying to climb the corporate ladder?"

Up to this point, she had neglected to tell her family anything going on in her life. It wasn't worth it to start an argument about going against what they want for her. She's too tired to consider the ramifications of that right now. "I quit the factory job weeks ago. I'm doing a radio show at midnight and it's making me 3500 dollars a month plus a portion of ad revenue. I'm making serious bank and still managing to live a life. I'm sorry that I don't see y'all much, but I'm too busy with work."

He doesn't look like he knows how to respond. She thought he would be happy, she's making more doing something she likes, something closer to what she went to college for. Of course, he isn't.

"You said the factory paid you well enough, was that a lie? Is that why you've been bumming around this house for the last year without a real job, because you weren't willingto put in the effort for a promotion?"

"Machine workers don't get promoted to managerial positions, they work the same shitty job until they age out or get so mangled they can't work anymore." Her mind starts thinking about the stories she could tell from the factory on her show, the horror stories she heard. She doesn't like that this opportunistic, huckster part of her mind is becoming more honed. "If you honestly thought that I was gonna get anywhere at that dead end company than you need to get real with yourself."

"It worked for your grandfather."

"Yea, 60 years ago. I'm finally doing something that I want and you hate me for it?"

"I don't hate you, I just.. I wish you talked to me about this before you did it, this is a big step-"

She gets up now, blanket wrapped around her lower half. In the mirror on the vanity she sees how rough her antlers have gotten, how unkempt and matted her fur was. "What, like I'm a child? I'm 23, I can make my own life choices and I am! If you don't want me to have autonomy than get out of my damn life!"

Silence fills the room. Her father does what he's always done, since she was a child. He makes angry noises. She does this because he knows that swearing out a child or your wife isn't the best for optics, though he has pantomimed hitting them before. The angry noises say everything that words aren't allowed to.

"I've done so much for you, you know that? I put you through college, we tried to get you and your brother a car, I accepted you being trans. Now you just wanna piss on me like I'm the worst dad in the world?"

"Yea, I do! Congratulations, you did the bare minimum associated with having a child, and you remind me of how grateful I should be every day. Do you want a trophy for this, for passing the bar? You could at the very least have put in an effort to love me a little instead of making me feel selfish for requiring the things every child does!!!"

"Jesus Paula, be smarter about this, all we've done is love and support you this whole timeand this is how you're reacting?"

"You've only supported me in the things you strong-armed me into in the first place. And If you really love me, don't follow me out. Just let me go." She slams the door on him and immediately breaks down in tears. Why is she crying? Why did she raise her tone? That's what he does. Is she just gonna be more and more like him until she is him? How many times has he said that she was just like him at his age? How many times has mom denied it, did she mean it? After a few minutes of sobbing on the floor, she gets up and starts packing her things. She doesn't have much, but too much for one bike. So she puts in a call to Fig.

She arranges to drop her stuff off at the shop for Fig and Newton to bring home with them while Poppy goes off to the studio for the nights show. Kelpy must notice something off, a look on her face that she didn't see herself. She dismisses him with a wave of a hand before going to the studios green room. With the extra money coming in from the show the studio has invested in some new furnishings. Mainly, a curtained off 'green room' that Poppy uses to get material ready for the show. She sits down on the thrift store armchair and starts crying. She cries for a good while, losing track of the time. The anxiety is stronger than it's ever been before. She always thought leaving home would be an elegant act, or at least cathartic. She just yelled at her father and left, justified considering the years of crap she's taken from him but not at all satisfying.

She struggles to think of what may constitute a satisfying ending with him, and determines that one does not exist. This is as good as it could have gone, she just left and ignored his repeated phone calls. She did explain to her mother what was going on, she was understanding enough. A text pulls her out of her spiraling, from Amora of all people. They had exchanged numbers for fan club things, an obligation she was doing her best to put off.

'Hey Poppy! Having a good night?'

'Good enough, I guess. Trying to relax before the show.'

'Gotcha, hey would you want to come to a fan club meeting at some point in the next week or so? I haven't made any promises yet but I know people would love to hear from you!'

'You know what? Sure, why not. How about next Tuesday?'

'Done! Thank you so much!!!!! <3<3<3'

She was getting in too deep with Amora, she knew it. She didn't exactly see a good relationship with someone who spent so long idolizing her, but the fan club was a nice gesture. She certainly wouldn't have put that together. That night on the show she talks about the road trip her family used to take from Hanover north, the things she saw on the road. She doesn't even notice Foxx in the studio, taking notes on the show. After the show Poppy sleeps in the green room until morning. In her dreams she sees the corridor, light pouring through the stained glass windows, door close but never getting any closer.



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