CHAPTER 2

AntiAntler started as a joke group between her and a friend, Tracy. They met in college, as dormmates. They were both trans, Tracy having cut and shaved down her antlers years ago. Deers antlers grow much faster than jackalope, so she kept shaving. The dorm room was caked in dust after just a few weeks, and Poppy joked about a forum where she could vent. Tracy joined, and soon a dozen trans women were all yelling at each other about the best way to shave antlers, molds and putties to stop growth, and generally building a community. They were never alone because they had each other. Poppy always talked to someone from the forum on bad days, though this person didn't have antlers at all. It was a frog, she thinks, invited in by someone else. She doesn't even know its name, just its screenname.. On the rough days, CheeseFucker69 was always there for her. days like today.

"I had that thought again at work, about the stained glass hallway. It sucked."

"Damn, I had the same thing last night, I wanted to bash my head against the desk so bad."

"You have a soft squishy head, it would probably feel good"

"LOL yea probably" followed by a gif of a heavy metal guitarist headbanging, mane swinging around wildly.

"I need to quit my job, it sucks so bad. Im tired of working in a dead end factory, i've got a college degree."

"Yea in gender studies LOL. You did it to urself"

"yea ig."

"You kno, I think there's an opening for late night host here, if you-"

"PAULA, COME DOWN FOR DINNER!" A voice yells from the bottom of the stairs.

"Sorry Cheese I've gotta go, ttyl"

"ttyl princess"


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Poppy's grandmother was over for dinner, from her fathers side. Her moms side of the family was the best, but they're the ones up north. Poppy's dads side is all local, unfortunately. It's been 3 years since Poppy came out, cut her antlers, started taking hormones, but gram gram Judith still hadn't adjusted.

"Why did you let him butcher his antlers like that Angie, they were so well grown!"

The dining room is tiny, and dim. Wood panelling on every wall, a single overhead light over the table. A cutout on one wall reveals the kitchen, much nicer since her mom loves to cook. The dining room goes neglected most days, since everyone just eats in their own respective corners of the house. Dad in the living room, mom on the back porch, Poppy in her bedroom. Angie, Poppy's mother responds. "Because, mom, SHE wanted to. and she's too old for us to boss her around."

Her dad chimes in now, a short man with a shorter temper. "Still, they were good antlers. You could've kept them, nobody would've said anything."

Poppy finally speaks. "Oh yeah, people will totally see me as a woman then, right?"

"Maybe you'd get a girlfriend," grandma says, "why your brothers already engaged and he's only a few years older than you!" Her brother, who's in the process of getting his doctorate in medicine, living inside the capital belt line.

"Cut him some slack mom, Paulas doing perfectly well for herself, right?" He misgendered her, again. So much for a supportive dad. "He's got a good job with promotions, friends, support. He doesn't even really need a girlfriend. Or would it be boyfriend now?"

Poppy wants to scream. "Either, I guess? I don't know." She finishes her dinner quickly, ears twitching, and runs back up the stairs without saying goodbye. She listens to music for a few minutes before dad comes up. He loves to do that, come in without knocking, twisting the locked doorknob until the lock gives and the knob twists freely. "You know, grandmas upset you didn't say goodbye? You're really gonna do that to her? What did she do to you? She loves you, you know, you could say "I love you" back every now and again. A lot of people like you have far worse grandparents, you're damn lucky, we all are."

In prehistoric times, before the rule of animals, freezing could save a rabbits life. Here, all it does is make the predator angrier. Her father just keeps talking, on and on and on about lost time and wasting her life. He sighs heavily, murmurs something about how ungrateful she is, then walks out of the room without closing the door. Poppy gets back to her computer, and sends a message to Cheese. "What were you saying about an opening?"

Why oh why did they ever move down to Hanover? Life was so good up north.


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