BOSS FLASH BREW

I was going to read Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying for today’s review, and I did not. Sorry. What exactly is ‘flash tan,’ I asked myself as I stared at this can at Li-Ming’s. According to the can itself, the flash tan brewing method is a three step process. Step one, brewed by hot water to extract the boldness and aromatic goodness. Step two, chilled fast to lock the quality. Step three, realize rich taste coffee. Those are direct quotes off the side of the can itself, I don’t want to rag on the company for bad English, but they have an entire distributing branch in America to sell their wildly popular coffee, it feels like somebody would’ve punched that up a little bit! Gosh, I’m so far along in this project that I’m critiquing the text on the can and how it’s printed. Gone are the discussions of the store or how I first tried it, now all we have is pedantic semantics.

This is our last drink from Li Ming’s, too! The last of eight wonderful coffees to come out of that temple to all good things culinary. Not everything to come out of there has been top notch, but a lot of it has been one-upping the others and leagues above the American offerings. Remember how I talked about the BOSS rainbow candy mountain blend being good, but wishing it came in a larger can to make up for its price? Well, this is pretty much that. It tastes maybe a little less premium, but by and large this is an 8 ounce version of our 6 ounce favorite. It also comes in a very, very dense can. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire what a can! This can will survive the nuclear winter and summer, this can makes everything else around it shelf stable by proximity. This can counts as s a blunt weapon in the state of California and a good group in Alabama, this can is its own classification of alloy! what a CAN!!!

If I went to Durham municipal recycling I’m sure I could still locate these cans in the slugs of melted down aluminum, they’d poke out too strong to be fully melted down too resolute to give into the heap. This can is stronger than I am, I resolve to be as strong as this can of coffee, Faulkner would be proud I think. To end off this review and our time with the BOSS brand and ethos I decided to watch a series of commercials with Tommy Lee Jones as the spokesman for BOSS rainbow. In them, he plays an alien visiting earth studying its happenings. He isn’t Tommy Lee Jones, he’s an alien who saw Tommy Lee Jones and took his form to blend in. Of course he’s in Japan, so he sort of sticks out. He laments materialism, the hustle and bustle of the culture, working, they’re interesting commercials. We see him in all sorts of jobs and roles, immersing himself. He cries to singer Aki Yashiro, who I had to listen to a bit of for this review. The singing is beautiful, but I think the understanding the lyrical content would help. I’m still a fan now. Wow, you learn so much doing this kind of stuff. I mean, I didn’t get through As I Lay Dying but I got 50 pages in, and I want to read more. Folks, don’t be afraid to go down a rabbit hole, you may learn some fun things along the way, like who your go-to Japanese singer is.

FLAVOR SCORE-8/8

VALUE SCORE-3/8